The forms in which I exist are non-negotiable, and yet so understated. How do I begin to uncover my Filipino body that has faded into the background behind the facade of what it may mean to be an Asian-American? A Filipino Woman? Everything is worth so much more, yet everything is erasive in relation to- my body, and every body that embodies this imposed and unprotected moment of confusion through its racial identity and gender performance and cultural relativity.
When we call on the phone, grandma, you don’t call me pretty in acknowledging all of my queerness, or excessive existence– how when I breathe, it feels I trail every crevice, line every edge and that I could touch everything all at once, but it would not be engulfing or entrancing or singular. I don’t think you call me pretty for the way I want to mutilate my breasts. June 5th they’ll be salubriously separated from my body, and I haven’t even told you yet. And it’s alright: transitional stages prompt disconnect, it makes family almost objective like that. It still hurts to imagine my distant relatives in the Philippines don’t perceive me as beautiful for the ways I actually am. Maganda Ako. The phrase obscures the faces of my relatives– or it would’ve if I hadn’t let it fall to the back and only illegibly bleed through the skin. In return, I thought it would have protected them from critique: any projections from a white audience, and it would’ve allowed the phrase to speak for them. Though I don’t think that’s what I meant for it to feel like. Protection takes away from praise, there is always so much to give. Subjecting my family members’ faces to this form of projection may seem elusive, maybe exploitative, yet it feels necessary.
Urgent almost. They deserve this moment, the likeness of them deserves to be taken in this way. There is so much gratitude in finding myself between the stories and images of mothers who cared before me; beginning to understand the way beauty lines every face, and every wrinkle that makes up my own physiognomy. Matatag Kami speaks on cultural and generational pain, depicting matriachs of my family as to note forms of femininity between my non-binary body and motherhood as a construct. Thoughts on what it means to embody feminisms have left my brain dwelling on alternative forms of equally just and whole and devoted motherhood. In the lineup of notable Filipina mothers, I place my body. I allow “Matatag Kami” to crown us, in all of our nurturing and understanding and formidable presence. We project this generational landscape, a billboard made to celebrate us, while re-identifying, re-aligning, and re-considering the colonized history of the Philippines. It is to speak such neglected truth to the present of Filipinos, post-colonialism, to allow space for my family’s immigrant story; space to understand queer identities within immigrant families, identifying the disconnects, the inbetweens, and to praise every type of mother holding it down anywhere, everywhere. I love you and thank you for caring so incredibly/tirelessly/endlessly.
Regina Gutierrez is a first- generation Filipinx born and raised in New York. Currently studying sculpture in their second year at the Rhode Island School of Design, Regina has found a multidisciplinary skill set necessary in expanding their art practice that centers transness, identity, and racialized bodies. Their work pushes forth informed concepts and self-respected mediums, embracing histories of metalwork, plaster casting, mural making, and personal writing.
Actively involved in making art more accessible, they are familiar to public gallery spaces local to Long Island and Providence, including the Heckscher Museum, All County Art Exhibitions, The Baldwin Public Library, and Adelphi University, and The Providence Art Club showcasing work annually within these community driven spaces for the past 5 years. Outside of their public highschool’s art department, Regina has studied fine arts at NYSSSA, FIT, and Adelphi University, creating work that further projects their Filipinx identity onto the formally white framed gallery space. Into the periphery of their practice, Regina takes interest in Trans theory and sociology, and has been an assistant to the Head Pastry Chef at the Wythe Hotel in Brooklyn, AKA likes baking, bikes occasionally, writes personally, and is an outspoken advocate for queer marginalized bodies within gallery spaces.
Check out an Interview with Anabel where she discusses Amor y Anarquía and other aspects of her practice with curator Kate McNamara on our blog HERE
Anabel Vázquez Rodríguez (b. Guayama, 1977) is an interdisciplinary artist, intersectional curator, and educator based somewhere in-between Borikén and the traditional homelands of the Narragansett and Wampanoag peoples. Their artistic production explores the colonial system, otherness, resistance, nostalgia, the galactical and feminist discourse. They have exhibited, lectured and performed nationally and internationally.
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Storefront Window Gallery Projects are made possible in part through support from the City of Providence Arts Culture Tourism Department.
Hello internet world! Super excited for the show on Saturday! Please stop by!!!!! I finally printed my comic- here's a page from that and a weirdo screenprint! I've been teaching at City Arts this spring and it has been awesome! May is the craziest month and I'm absorbing it all in. In June, I'll be at the spring risd craft sale with a bunch of stuff. Every time I wear my old Bonedust tee (2006) to work (at the coffee/bakery emporium) people ask me where I got this cool vintage shirt so that's nice and wacky. I am conspiring to make my cat Thimble and Xander's dog Liv best friends but you know- cats and dogs. SEND ME A CARD AND I'LL SEND ONE BACK! xoxo
The cherry blossoms (my favorite) have pretty much come and gone, but I'm still amped for the Lilacs. Lately, I’ve been digging into some older live recordings while creating new ones, getting ready to play some shows.
On April 30th I shared a live viola/vocals/beats set at Black Lace across the street in Olneyville for an event with Kai Salem, Adaa, Cyberbully and Nybor. It was the first time I had played live in a *long* time and it was exciting to get back out there.
May 7th, I had an opening DJ set at the monthly Bleep and Klang event organized by symposium records. Honored to have shared the decks with the super talented Final Object and Abby Echiavarri.
Had a fun DP work day. Thanks to the help of Dan Wood and some reference videos from previous resident Daniella Ben-Bassett, the DP Letterpress is now up and running. Excited to dig into that in the coming months. Also used my newly acquired "woodshop skills" to help Pippi put down some colorful subfloor of cut-up wood c/o Xander <3
Stay tuned:
Helping to put together dance party x Experimental Noise show coming up on June 4 @ Dirt Palace.
Forthcoming Collaborative multi-media experimental piece written and formulated with fellow questioning academic Shannan Lee Hayes to be published in Refuse.
KAI VAN VLACK
Hello hello. I had a busy few months. Here’s what’s been up:
I was invited to speak at the New Haven Pride Center’s Lesbian Day of Visibility. The organizer, Suyane Oliveira and I had a talk about intersectional existence as queer women of color in DIY punk. A recording of our talk is available on youtube:
Trophy Hunt’s new LP “The Branches on Either Side” will be released on May 19th on Middle-Man Records, Tomb Tree, and Zegema Beach records. The album will be availableHEREafter that date in both cassette and CD formats. 12” LPs are in production. In the meantime preview tracks are availablehereandhere.
Reading/Listening/Seeing George R.R. Martin - Fire and Blood A poetic metatextual mystery pretending to be the dreary history of a fantasy world.
Rosalía - MOTOMAMI Flamenco singer turned experimental hip-hop weirdo trying her hand at everything under the sun and doing all of it well. This one is AOTY for me so far.
You Won’t Be Alone What if Terrence Malick directed an A24 horror film but also what if it was good?
The City of Providence’s Department of Art, Culture + Tourism, Department of Public Property and Department of Recreation commissioned six RI- based artists including YSANEL to design and install a mural using “parachute cloth” at Dave’s Lopes Recreation Center with Amber Art & Design.
Its been five years this month since X & P started physically working on the Wedding Cake House (there were about 8 months of planning before getting the keys). This anniversary has been both a moment of reflection and of brainstorming about how to take what has been an intense half decade, down a notch. These past five years have been full of challenges and magic, but also mostly just full of long assed days of putting one foot in front of the other. They're trying to post a bunch of pre-renovation pics on @weddingcakehouse_renovations IG this month, so if traveling back to the summer of '17 and piles of rubble is of interest, follow there.
In light of the "take it down a notch" vibe, X is making (chill) plans! She’s having wild (chill) ideas! But also she is so annoyed that it keeps not really being warm out…will today be the day that the season shifts? Pretty please!?!? Also she is sort of losing her mind about politics and is trying to cope by befriending plants and digging in the dirt, can you relate? The other thing that’s been keeping her going is Pandemic Pen Pals. Mega Mail Mash up above. (w/images of stuff that came in the mail from: Greta, Gina, AK, Stephen, James, Mike, Gaby. Shoutout to them & everyone else who’s sent stuff). X is working on a summer mailing. Unlike last spring’s mailing, the word-find won’t be all flowers and phrases like “nude popsicle” or “daffodildo”. Unfortunately it will likely be about abortion and/or war, because dear friends, here we are again in a garbage world. If you want in on this quote unquote “mail-box-party”, send me an email with your snail mail address (missxander@hotmail.com). Or better yet drop me something in the actual mail (14 Olneyville Sq, Providence RI 02909). All love.
Pippi gave an artist talk as part of Mobius Artists Group Spiderweb series. Check out Mobius's archive HERE to see the video of her talk as well as other artists talking about their work!
Want one of these prints below? Send something you've made (a drawing, a print, an audio track, a popsicle (don't actually send a popsicle), a manifesto, a small child) to Pippi Z, 14 Olneyville Square, Providence RI 02909 and she'll send you one in the mail FOC. Offer available till they are all gone. Don't forget to include your return address. This was originally a "friends & family" deal now extended to the "public". But whatever you call yourself, feel free to send mail in exchange.
RECTRIX Will be playing Summer Scum in NYC July 22nd & 23rd. Which date you ask? All will be revealed.
****************************** Library Hi-Lites!
MONTHLY PICTORIAL TREAT FROM THE DUSTY SHELVES OF THE DIRT PALACE
FURTHERING THE QUEST TO SPREAD FUN LIKE GIN AND JUICE, MOSTLY GIN
Some New ones...too great not to include both: Gaby Hurtado-Ramos' Let's Get Acquainted (Lesbian Bars of Houston) and Mike Leslie's Flyer Collection. Feast your eyes & minds.
Let's Get Acquainted
Mike Leslie's Flyer Collection:
****************************** BULLETIN BOARD
*************************** Happy Birthday Anabel Vázquez Rodríguez! Sara Wintz! Miranda Van-Boswell! Bridget Ferrill!
the dirt palace is a feminist art collective located in the olneyville neighborhood of providence, rhode island. visit http://dirtpalace.org for more info! also: subscribe to our mailing list (only 1-2 mailings per month) also: buy zines and comics et cetera from our ETSY STORE!!!!!!!
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